I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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