in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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