doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
