On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
