I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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