He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
