Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
