Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
