So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize