my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize