Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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