I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
