I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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