You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
