I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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