this just has baby written all over it
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize