my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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