So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
