he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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