this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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