How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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