Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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