I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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