yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
