Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
