Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
