"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
