no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize