I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
