um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
