Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize