Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
