I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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