Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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