just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
