that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i need some magic done to my vagina
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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