you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
