if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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