Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
