So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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