I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
