I wanna bring you to show and tell
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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