is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Terrible idea I love it
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
