Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Pooping to opera.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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