omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
