By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
