I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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