And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
