He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
