Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
