i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
