There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
