the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
