Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
