3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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