Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
