no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Oh god it's open bar.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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