So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
