dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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