I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
