Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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