ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
