I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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