I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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